Help to Carry On

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...
                                                         Bill Withers

Look around - there are people in pain.  Behind the facade of a smiling face, they go on, hanging by a fine golden thread to what is real -  where love exists.  Those closest may see these fine strings, may try to catch a hold of the ever wavering, only being defeated because it never quite swings in their direction.  The closest just don't have the power or strength to grab on.

And twirling and swinging, they pretend that love will grab a hold of them as they are propelled in the other direction.  Failing to lean when they are not strong - in the direction of the caring, the wise, the ones who truly care.  The movement plunges them forward, and away, until others are first heartbroken, after time, can't see the golden thread, and go on, leaning on others.

I've reached out.  I tried to hang on.  Now, I can't see you anymore.  But remember, there is still hope.

For those in pain, reach out before the pain becomes to great, before the forces carry you away into the unknown.  If the pain consumes, the unknown surrounds, turn to the known, the truth, the real, and you will find comfort.  Lean on the True Love, and Love will grab a hold of you.  You can't be helped until you ask.

As you surrender, slowly, oh so slowly, the golden thread will turn to a golden rod, visible to all, and love from everywhere will surround you once again.

Written for those I love who pushed me away until, heartbroken, I went on.  Hope exists.  Lean on Him.

Aunt Janet and Janet and friend

Children - Be Kind to Your Parents

Be kind to your parents

Though they don't deserve it. 

Remember that grown ups

Is a difficult stage of life

They're apt to be nervous

And over excited

Confused by their daily storm and strife. 

So keep in mind though it seems hard I know. 

Parents were children long ago. Incredible!! 

So treat them with patience and kind understanding. 

Despite of all the foolish things they do. 

Some day you might wake up and find you're a parent too.

Harold Rome

When I graduated from 8th grade, our school gave us all the fancy stationary for commemorating this special day. Being excited because it looked so elegant, I sent the invitations, name cards, and an 8th grade picture to everyone in my family. This included my dad. When I called him to see if he was coming, he told me that he was offended that I sent him an invitation to my graduation without calling him. Okay, does anyone else see how illogical this was? I called him.

When I graduated from high school, I again invited him to my graduation. I was to give a commencement speech, and I really wanted him to come and be proud of me. He said that he would make special arrangements for protection, and he would be there. (He was running for president of the railroad union.) I was so excited. I told all my friends that they could finally meet my dad.

Before graduation, I scanned the crowd, looking for my handsome father. After graduation, I again searched the crowd. When I saw my parents’ faces, I knew that he didn’t come. Here I was receiving the highest award that I’ve ever received and giving a speech that came from my heart, and he didn’t come. And for the first time, I saw the anger in my parents’ eyes, anger that they never visibly shown before. They never bad mouthed him. I was devastated and he got an earful that night in between hysterical sobs. Did it hurt him as much as me? I don’t think so.

I didn’t invite him to my college graduation, and funny thing is now I regret it.  An Oxymoron perhaps?

From then on, every time there was an important event in my life or in the paternal family, in order to prevent that severe pain, I had to pretend that he wasn’t coming. If he came, it was a pleasant surprise. It is a defense mechanism to deal with hurt that a parent causes - neglecting their child’s needs in favor of their own wishes, which in most situations are selfish.

Why am I telling you this? It is between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and graduation time. It brings back memories for me, memories that I sincerely hope and pray no other child will feel. So, if you are a mother and father, remember what you do effects your child, not only now, but forever. Children are a gift from God. How would God want you to treat this gift? Even when we are going through tough times, it is so important to remember that these children are just children, with child-like feelings and emotions, and to ask yourself – how will this affect my child now and forever?

Children need the love of both parents.  They need to know that both parents love them.  Parents need to respect the other parent in order to teach respect to and for their child.  The child is an extension of both parents, aren't they, even the other parent?  Many unintentional selfish acts against the other parent are just a passing emotion or reaction for the parents, but are a forever hurt for the child.

Selling

I love that the companies I represent each contribute to charities and / or offer the customers a chance to contribute.  In May, Pampered Chef is offering their annual Help Whip Cancer® products.  Here is a link to see all of the wild products they are offering this year - ttp://www.pamperedchef.com/images/public/us/pdf/gs_11may.pdf.  If you would like to order any of these items, please go to  http://www.pamperedchef.biz/auntjanetskitchen to place an order.  Thanks!

The Canvas of Life

Dreams are like the paints of a great artist. Your dreams are your paints, the world is your canvas. Believing, is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.

Author Unknown

I just turned 49, and I was feeling a little down.  My life is not the life I envisioned for myself.  What was and what I imagined it to be are two different pictures.  If I could go back in time, what would I do differently?

I was born with certain characteristics and talents, unique only to me.  These I cannot change - gifted to me from the Highest.  I do consider them gifts, and I am honored that He saw fit to bestow them onto me.

But, there are so many crossroads where I could have chosen a different path, and the road may have been different.  Better, lovelier, more fulfilling - I'm not sure.  Different - maybe.

A friend, sensing my desire to have lived a more fulfilling life, encouraged me to repaint my canvas.  It's never too late.  Just start with a blank canvas, start dreaming, and fill the canvas with beauty.  What I paint on my canvas will be one of a kind, priceless, and to be treasured forever.

How this all started?

A family member passed away.  We called him uncle because of our age difference.  He was actually a cousin.  He was one of the great story tellers in my family.  His eyes would light up when you asked him to share a story.  He was also a jokester.  As a child, I remember pretending that his car was a police car, with flashing lights and sirens (headlights and dome lights going on and off, siren sounds, children laughing, while my aunt was yelling).

That side of my family told the stories, some happy, some sad, and even some horrifying.  But, whatever the story, they shared it, letting the ghosts out, and passing their heritage on.

My dad was like that.  I miss him.  He passed away 26 years ago when my mom was only 49.  (So, that's where the age comes into play.)  There were so many life's trials that I wish my dad was there to guide me, encourage me, or push me in the right direction.  Yes, I may not have listened, but I would have learned.  Instead, I did what I believed was right, and, at times, was wrong.

What would I have changed?

This is something I need to contemplate.  To go back in time and look at the mistakes one makes takes courage.  To learn from those mistakes, and figure out how they could have been avoided, takes knowledge, understanding, and possibly a little experience.  So, without much thought, here is a couple of things that I would have done differently.

In 7th and 8th grade, I should have not tried to be cool and done stupid things that led to habits later.  Habits that I still struggle with today.

Going back 30 something years, I should have closed the door on my boyfriend's face.  Well, after he supposedly broke up with me, he came over after his first date with another girl.  And he kept coming over, and I let him for years.  I should have put up a boundary that I was not to be treated in that manner, with him disregarding my feelings and thinking I'd be there whenever. 

(The above are specifically written for some of my younger readers.)

One major thing I would have definitely changed is that I would have begun a family earlier, because then I would have had a family, whether naturally or by adoption.

The rest is yet to be decided.

Aunt Janet's Famous Quotes

You are old enough when you realize that you don't know everything, and you seek guidance from someone who knows more.

Repainting my canvas,
Aunt Janet

Indian Summer

... the Indian summer, attains its amplitude and heavenly perfection, -- the temperatures; the sunny haze; the mellow, rich delicate, almost flavoured air: Enough to live -- enough to merely be.

Walt Whitman

I love when Indian summer arrives.  We have experienced a little taste of the cold, the leaves have changed colors, and the days grow shorter.  Then, almost out of no where, the warmth returns one last time to tease us - to give us a brief time outdoors without the nipping cold begging us to go inside. 

Last weekend, we saw Indian summer.  We harvested the last of our fall crops, raked and burned leaves, and cleaned out the garden.  Maggie, our lab, sat patiently in the garden, waiting for brussel sprouts picked straight of the stalk or a cherry tomato that escaped the frost.  It was a simple and peaceful weekend.

Money Savings Tip

I just heard of a great way to save money.  Angel Food Ministries is a non-profit, non-denominational organization dedicated to providing food relief and financial support to communities throughout the United States.  There are no qualifications, minimums, income restrictions, or applications.  Simply go to their website, http://www.angelfoodministries.com/, and place your order on-line. 

What do you get?  For $30, you get a variety of fresh and frozen foods, enough to make a week's worth of food for a family of four.  I've been told that the food is good quality and delicious, and you won't believe how much you get.  The $30 Signature Box includes meats, vegetables, breakfast products, and some dairy items.  The average retail price for these items would be around $60.  They say that there is no second hand, damaged, or out-dated products.  In addition, the food selection changes each month.

They also have specials that vary from month to month.  This month's specials include 3 meat specials and 1 fresh fruit and veggie box.

Orders must be placed by a certain date, and items must be picked up at the designated site (usually a church) during a certain time frame.  For November 2009, for my area, orders must be placed by November 11th, and picked up at the church on Saturday, November 21st between 9:30 and 10:30 AM.  The dates may be different in your area.  If the order is not picked up, many churches donate the food to those in need.  In addition, Angel Food Ministries encourages using the money you save to help others in need.

This is a wonderful ministry, and one that many can benefit from.  I placed my order tonight, and have encouraged family and friends to place their order (so we can carpool to pick it up).

Recipe

My mother-in-law cans applesauce every year, and, if my nieces find out we brought some home, they are over in a heartbeat.  I even have to hide the jars, or they would disappear (after one of their visits).  Trying to remember it from memory, I think that the following recipe may be pretty close.

Homemade Applesauce

Apples - I use apples that are sweet
Water
Cinnamon, to taste
Sugar, if needed

The amount of apples you use will depend on if you want it for a meal or two, or for canning.  You will get about 12-16 quarts of applesauce per bushel of apples.

Wash, peel, and cut apples into chunks.  I usually use my apple wedger, and then cut each wedge into about 4 pieces. 

Fill pot with about 1 inch of water.  Place cut up apples in pot.  Turn heat to high, and when it starts really cooking, turn it down to medium until the apples are soft.

Put the softened apples through a sieve, or, if you like really chunky applesauce, use a potato masher to mash to the consistency that you like.  Mix in cinnamon to taste.  You can also add sugar if needed.  Just remember, add a little at a time.  Rule of thumb:  You can keep adding, but you can't take away once it's added, so just a little at a time.

If you are canning, please follow the directions for canning applesauce in your canning cookbook.  If you're just making it for dinner, you can either eat it warm or cool it for later use, and enjoy!

My Pets

For those of you who follow my blog, thank you for your prayers and patience during my time of loss.  She fought until the end.  I saw the pain in her eyes, and I knew.  The vet said that she was a very brave girl, and stuck it out until the pain was too great.  Just to let you know, we miss her terribly but we are adjusting.  Yes, Maggie still looks for Puppy to go outside, and we have not picked up her bowl yet, but the memories of her keep us going.  At first, I kept myself so busy that I did not have time to grieve.  I did not write because I knew my feelings would surface.  I was afraid that if I cried, the tears would not end.  She was definitely my baby, my Puppy.  Towards the end of her stay with us, I couldn't leave the room without her barking for me to come and get her (she needed help standing up).  So, my friends, thank you again for your understanding.  I know that, along with those who have gone before her, Puppy is waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge.

Oh - by the way, Maggie is trying to tell her dad that she is mature and old enough to have her own puppy to mother and teach, just like Puppy did with her.  She misses her friend, mentor, and dog-mom very much.  Usually, she's the first out of bed.  Lately, we've had to go wake her up.  Also, we believe that she's having more seizures due to her grief.  Puppy played with her until the end, not as rough and no running around, but laying on the ground, barking, growling, and play-biting.  Puppy was always very verbal with Maggie.  One thing I did learn is that Maggie followed Puppy everywhere, not me :(  Now, Maggie shares her time between her dad and me.  But, dad, she needs a friend that would play with her the way dogs play - barking, growling, biting, running and jumping.  Are you listening to your Maggie, dad?

So, hopefully, I'm back.  That is, after I get through everything I scheduled for the rest of the year.  (I am a big distractor - I'll keep myself so busy that I don't deal with what really needs my attention.)

Aunt Janet

Daddy's Goodbye

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

My wife likes to say that Puppy was brought to us by God.  I don't know about that but by God I love her.

One day, while working in the yard, a little girl, dragging a dog on a leash, came to me.  She told me this dog was a stray and her parents wouldn't let her keep it.  Knowing we owned dogs, she wondered if we would take care of her puppy.  I asked Janet if that would be alright and she said yes.

Being a stray, Janet and I set out to find the owner of this energetic puppy.  We printed and posted “Found” posters in all the usual places around town.  In the mean time, we had to call this dog something, so we called her what she was, Puppy.

Time past and no one claimed her. Janet and I now had a new member of the family, and it was now time to give her a name.  All the traditional names, like “Spot” or “Rover”, just didn't fit.  The more creative names, like “Tiger” or “Killer”, just would get no response from her, but say “Puppy, what would you like to be named?” and her ears immediately perked up. Thus “Puppy” became a member of our family.

Now, it's been 11 years of pure joy “Puppy” has given Janet and me. Five months ago, “Puppy” was diagnosed with cancer. Since then, we have struggled with the question “when is it time to say goodbye?”

Several months ago, I first saw a TV commercial produced by the SPCA. It depicts several abused and abandoned dogs and cats. Each one reached through the TV screen with their sad and wanting eyes to say “help me.” Their expressions touched me to the verge of tears, and, whenever this commercial comes on, I have to change the channel, because their eyes talk to me of the pain and loneliness.

So, last Sunday afternoon, I looked into Puppy's eyes, and they talked to me of her love for Janet, and also that it was time to say goodbye. That evening, we respected her wishes with all the love we could give.

Goodbye Puppy and we love you!
Daddy (Uncle Todd)

P.S. Thanks Jess for typing.  Aunt Janet wouldn't have been able to do it.

Selah

In a circle
on a beautiful fall day
letting go
and helping the wonderful dog trying to sleep on the grass behind us
ease out of this world
filled with as much love and music
as we could give her.

Selah, Bana, Selah.
Posted by: jlseagull - http://slowmover.wordpress.com

I sat on the grass with Puppy laying by me. She loves the outdoors, and we could tell she was happy being outside, next to me, laying in the grass, listening to the sounds around her. Her ears would perk up, and she would look in the direction of whatever was catching her attention at that moment. She was serene.

Puppy is dying. I know the time is coming. But not today. She's not ready to go. My husband and I talked it through as we watched her enjoy the cool breeze and sunshine. We debated - is today the day?

My family trickled in, one by one. Puppy wagged her tail with greetings of love, and soaked in all the pets, hugs, and kisses that were bestowed on her. She made them laugh. Is today the day?

After taking into thought her pain level and mobility, she will spend a little more time with us.

I found this song, and the post fit today so perfectly - A song for a Dying Dog on a Beautiful Fall Day. Read it, and you will understand. It ends with Selah, Bana, Selah. Bana is his friend's dying dog's name.

Found repeatedly in the Psalms, although the exact meaning of the Hebrew word "Selah" is lost, it is believed to mean "we should 'measure' or value carefully what has just been said". So, to me, this song is saying to value the life of this dog, and to look at the happiness and love that she has given unselfishly. http://www.mountainretreatorg.net/faq/selah.html

So, for today, Puppy is content. The medicine is keeping the pain to a minimum. We will need to help her get around, but she is not suffering greatly. We can wait a little longer before letting go, using this time to reflect upon the love that this precious dog has given to us, and is still giving to us, and trust that she will tell us when it is time to say goodbye.

Selah, Puppy, Selah.

Gardening

I have not posted a lot lately because most of my time has been spent working, taking care of the apartments, taking care of Puppy, and gardening. One new discovery I made - a natural way to ward off those June Bugs that love my green bean plants and raspberries.

Fill up a bucket about 1/4 of the way with soapy water (dish soap). Hand catch as many of the June Bugs as you can, and put them into the bucket of water. They will drown. Keep the bucket next to the plants. The other June Bugs pick up on the odor of the dead ones, and will wander elsewhere. You can keep hand picking the bugs and putting them in the bucket if you would like.

As for my bean plants, the June Bugs are down to a minimum, so this hint I found really seems to be working. Now, I have to deal with the spider mites on the plants. This I know how to take care of, and will share it with you at a later time.

Does anyone know how to keep the varmints from knocking down and eating all my corn?? I'll share, but I want to at least enjoy a little of it!

Aunt Janet's Famous Sayings

Well, as many of you can guess, I don't tolerate belittling people. Along with "There's a nice way to say everything, and a way to say everything nice", I'm also known to say "Don't say that! If you say it again, I'll smack you in the head." And all the younger ones know that if they dare say it again, they will get a quick smack on the head. Name calling hurts, and there is no need for it. And, for those I defend, you are very welcome.

I love you all, and you will get a smack if you do this! So, you are intelligent. Find a nice way to say it! (Oh - Puppy just told the cats this. She defends everyone in the family, and will not tolerate fighting of any kind.)

Selah, my friend, Selah,
Aunt Janet