Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Children - Be Kind to Your Parents

Be kind to your parents
Though they don't deserve it. 
Remember that grown ups
Is a difficult stage of life
They're apt to be nervous
And over excited
Confused by their daily storm and strife. 
So keep in mind though it seems hard I know. 
Parents were children long ago. Incredible!! 
So treat them with patience and kind understanding. 
Despite of all the foolish things they do. 
Some day you might wake up and find you're a parent too.
Harold Rome
When I graduated from 8th grade, our school gave us all the fancy stationary for commemorating this special day. Being excited because it looked so elegant, I sent the invitations, name cards, and an 8th grade picture to everyone in my family. This included my dad. When I called him to see if he was coming, he told me that he was offended that I sent him an invitation to my graduation without calling him. Okay, does anyone else see how illogical this was? I called him.

When I graduated from high school, I again invited him to my graduation. I was to give a commencement speech, and I really wanted him to come and be proud of me. He said that he would make special arrangements for protection, and he would be there. (He was running for president of the railroad union.) I was so excited. I told all my friends that they could finally meet my dad.

Before graduation, I scanned the crowd, looking for my handsome father. After graduation, I again searched the crowd. When I saw my parents’ faces, I knew that he didn’t come. Here I was receiving the highest award that I’ve ever received and giving a speech that came from my heart, and he didn’t come. And for the first time, I saw the anger in my parents’ eyes, anger that they never visibly shown before. They never bad mouthed him. I was devastated and he got an earful that night in between hysterical sobs. Did it hurt him as much as me? I don’t think so.

I didn’t invite him to my college graduation, and funny thing is now I regret it.  An Oxymoron perhaps?

From then on, every time there was an important event in my life or in the paternal family, in order to prevent that severe pain, I had to pretend that he wasn’t coming. If he came, it was a pleasant surprise. It is a defense mechanism to deal with hurt that a parent causes - neglecting their child’s needs in favor of their own wishes, which in most situations are selfish.

Why am I telling you this? It is between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and graduation time. It brings back memories for me, memories that I sincerely hope and pray no other child will feel. So, if you are a mother and father, remember what you do effects your child, not only now, but forever. Children are a gift from God. How would God want you to treat this gift? Even when we are going through tough times, it is so important to remember that these children are just children, with child-like feelings and emotions, and to ask yourself – how will this affect my child now and forever?

Children need the love of both parents.  They need to know that both parents love them.  Parents need to respect the other parent in order to teach respect to and for their child.  The child is an extension of both parents, aren't they, even the other parent?  Many unintentional selfish acts against the other parent are just a passing emotion or reaction for the parents, but are a forever hurt for the child.


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Friday, May 06, 2011


Always listen to your elder's advice,
not because they are always right,
but because they have more experience at being wrong.
Author Unknown

We learn from our experiences.  We also learn from the experience of others.  When we see our young making a wrong move, we try to reach out and give advice.  Sometimes it is taken.  Other times we are told to let them make their own mistakes.  Out of love, we are trying to prevent hurt, pain, and questions of "why did I ever do that?" 

Yes, it is true that we are not always right.  They may experience a totally different outcome than we experienced.  But, and I do think you will agree with me, positive actions reap positive results, and negative actions reap negative results.

I am not sure how many times I have told the young in my family:
There are consequences to every action. If you do something positive, there will be a positive consequence. If you do something negative, there will be a negative consequence. You may not see this consequence right away, but, sooner or later, it will catch up with you, and you will have to deal with the consequence of your action. So, think carefully before you do things. Ask yourself if this action is positive or negative. Or, better yet, WWJD. 
Remember - No matter what you do, God will forgive you, but He doesn't always take away the consequences.  More often, He helps us through them.  He gives us knowledge from experience, tough love when we need it, and strength to endure.  If we did something wrong, and didn't suffer a little from this wrong action, how are we to learn?
If you help someone, someone will help you.  If you lie, you will be lied to.  If you give, you will receive.  If you steal, your possessions are not safe.  If you listen, you will be heard.  If you cheat, you will never be able to trust. 

So often, we blame others for your poor choices.  If they had done this, or not done this, or been more ??? or less ???, then I would have not done what I did.  When you go to heaven, God is not going to ask how others treated you, but how you treated others.  You are only responsible for yourself.  It doesn't matter if someone called you a bad name.  It just matters how you responded.  Did you respond in anger, or did you turn the other check?

As the youth grow and experience life, they come to see the truth of this knowledge, knowledge that has been passed down generation to generation, knowledge from those that have lived through their own experiences of life.  When the truth triumphs, there is no justification for wrongs, but every justification for rights.  And the Truth always triumphs!

Money Savings Idea

For Mother's Day this weekend, how about giving a homemade gift certificate for time?  Time to paint her living room, teach her how to blog, take a walk, or plant flowers.  Most mothers appreciate and treasure the gift of time more than any other tangible gift.  Your time is free, but the time spent with your mom is priceless.
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