Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Children - Be Kind to Your Parents

Be kind to your parents
Though they don't deserve it. 
Remember that grown ups
Is a difficult stage of life
They're apt to be nervous
And over excited
Confused by their daily storm and strife. 
So keep in mind though it seems hard I know. 
Parents were children long ago. Incredible!! 
So treat them with patience and kind understanding. 
Despite of all the foolish things they do. 
Some day you might wake up and find you're a parent too.
Harold Rome
When I graduated from 8th grade, our school gave us all the fancy stationary for commemorating this special day. Being excited because it looked so elegant, I sent the invitations, name cards, and an 8th grade picture to everyone in my family. This included my dad. When I called him to see if he was coming, he told me that he was offended that I sent him an invitation to my graduation without calling him. Okay, does anyone else see how illogical this was? I called him.

When I graduated from high school, I again invited him to my graduation. I was to give a commencement speech, and I really wanted him to come and be proud of me. He said that he would make special arrangements for protection, and he would be there. (He was running for president of the railroad union.) I was so excited. I told all my friends that they could finally meet my dad.

Before graduation, I scanned the crowd, looking for my handsome father. After graduation, I again searched the crowd. When I saw my parents’ faces, I knew that he didn’t come. Here I was receiving the highest award that I’ve ever received and giving a speech that came from my heart, and he didn’t come. And for the first time, I saw the anger in my parents’ eyes, anger that they never visibly shown before. They never bad mouthed him. I was devastated and he got an earful that night in between hysterical sobs. Did it hurt him as much as me? I don’t think so.

I didn’t invite him to my college graduation, and funny thing is now I regret it.  An Oxymoron perhaps?

From then on, every time there was an important event in my life or in the paternal family, in order to prevent that severe pain, I had to pretend that he wasn’t coming. If he came, it was a pleasant surprise. It is a defense mechanism to deal with hurt that a parent causes - neglecting their child’s needs in favor of their own wishes, which in most situations are selfish.

Why am I telling you this? It is between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and graduation time. It brings back memories for me, memories that I sincerely hope and pray no other child will feel. So, if you are a mother and father, remember what you do effects your child, not only now, but forever. Children are a gift from God. How would God want you to treat this gift? Even when we are going through tough times, it is so important to remember that these children are just children, with child-like feelings and emotions, and to ask yourself – how will this affect my child now and forever?

Children need the love of both parents.  They need to know that both parents love them.  Parents need to respect the other parent in order to teach respect to and for their child.  The child is an extension of both parents, aren't they, even the other parent?  Many unintentional selfish acts against the other parent are just a passing emotion or reaction for the parents, but are a forever hurt for the child.


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