Tuesday, February 03, 2009

To Weep and Still Hope

It helps, I think, to consider ourselves on a very long journey: the main thing is to keep to the faith, to endure, to help each other when we stumble or tire, to weep and press on.
Mary Richards

Warning - This blog starts off on the downside, but ends up on the upside.

I was sitting here having a pity party for myself right now. First, I came home to a computer that did not work because my husband decided to clean the inside of it. He took the processor chip out and put it back in backwards. Well, the pins were all bent and when I tried to straighten them, a couple broke off. So, now he doesn't have a computer.

Also, I'm wondering how I'm going to pay the mortgage on the buildings because I haven't received 2 apartment rents yet, and the grocery store has not paid me for two months because they are trying to sell. Well, the mortgage comes out of my bank account on the fifth of each month, and today, on the third, the money is not there.

It was a situation that just happened to me, not something I caused to happen. I know that this may not make sense. Most people are in debt because they overspent. When I saw that the buildings were too much for me financially, I decided to sell. I had a buyer, went to closing, signed all the papers, and it didn't close. My debt is the result of two tenants that moved out (and I couldn't rent out because of a zoning problem), all the costs related to or as a result of the failed closing, and, of course, the interest from this debt.

Okay, maybe my fault in all of this is that I trust others too much. I trusted others to make sure that the buildings would close, to look out for my best interests, and to be honest with me. For years, I tried to tell others about my zoning problem, and I probably should have been more persistent. Maybe I need to speak up more. Maybe I was putting trust in the wrong being, when I should have been trusting God.

He knows what’s in my heart. He knows what my intentions were with this inheritance – that I meant only to listen to what I believed He was telling me – to care for the sick and elderly. He knows that I will not file bankruptcy, that I will make good on my debt, no matter what caused it. He has taken care of me this far, and I believe He will take care of me in the future.

Just sometimes, I get on this pity pot, and I have to remember that it’s okay to weep, as long as I don’t give up laughing, as long as I keep hoping. After all, I am only human, and those who have wronged me, whether they did so intentionally or not (I hope not), are only human, like me, and God may also have had lessons to teach them in all of this, and, sometimes, lately daily, I need to forgive them.

God is here for all of us!

Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
Carl Sandberg

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either.
Golda Meir

Money Savings Tip

Make your own greeting cards. You can be as creative or as simple as you want. You can use computer software, or do everything by hand. Check out books at your local library for ideas.

My friends and I had a stamping party yesterday, and we had so much fun! We each made a Valentine's Day card. Even though we used the same materials, each one was unique and beautiful. It gave me so many ideas on how I could use paper and items I have laying around the house to make other beautiful cards that not only would be cheaper than store-bought cards, but would be more beautiful and meaningful to the recipient.

Be creative and have fun!

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